I thought we could have some fun with the release of The Atomic Ballerina by celebrating purple prose, post-apocalyptic style. (This is the second time I’ve done one of these. Author Matt Fraser won when I did this a few years back.)
What’s purple prose?
Elevated language where none is needed. Overly flowery descriptions of the mundane that distract. Haughty verbiage where spare description would suffice. Maximum verbosity. I’d like to honor language on stilts that draws excessive attention to itself as it pertains to the decline and fall of civilization.
I want to see your best worst sentence or paragraph, up to a hundred words, but less will be better. The topic? Narrative fiction that would fit the post-apocalyptic genre. Take it in whatever direction you’d like. One prompt suggestion if you need a place to start:
Moderate-tempered Maxine has a delivery of a beating human heart. She needs to drive across the wastelands. She has twenty-four hours to make the trip. First she needs to check her car, and then there’s time to hit the local taproom. “One for the road, because it might be my last one,” is her motto.
Keep it PG as there are kids around here somewhere. The most upvotes wins. Share with your friends. Stuff your vote count any way you can.
What’s the prize?
I’ve got an exclusive Seraph Engine magnet/ bookmark. Plus bragging rights. The only restriction is I won’t send the prize outside of the U.S. except Canada. Anyone can enter. Enter multiple times if you’d like. Entries for the PAPPC are to be submitted in your comments below. Upvote the ones you like. Glower at the ones you don’t. Have fun and let’s see what you’ve got!
I will decide on any tiebreakers. Final entries should be in by Feb 27, 2022.
Enter in the comments below.
In Case you missed it:
The Seraph Engine is out!
Miles Kim, cyborg and relic of a war fading from memory, is on the last train ride of his life.
“Full of action and mystery. Held my attention to the end!” –Bookbub review
“Poignant and compelling. I’m hooked!” –Goodreads
“Tense. Riddled with mystery and intriguing twists.” –Bookbub
The Capricious Narrator 
The solitary figure, furtive in his ink-dark garb, sped with the haste of fair Mercury himself across the sun-scoured sand of this arid clime, laid waste by the poison fruits of mankind’s grim loins; yet lo! another, gaunt hips draped like yuletide mantels of yore with infernal machinations of death where scintillating garlands might in more propitious times rest, steadfast in his pursuit, ceaselessly seeking to achieve geographical parity with his prey and, in so doing, bring down upon his grizzled pate the twin bludgeons of bitter justice and sweet vengeance.
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Congrats, Leanne256. you’re the winner of the 2022 Purple Prose Contest! Amazing entry! Please message me here, or on Twitter or Facebook and let me know where I can send your prize.
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Catherine watched with glassy eyes through her meager living room window as the blazing sun set in the west. Then, lighting a candle, she walked slowly, yet purposefully, into the bedroom and crawled into her cold hard bed. Tomorrow, should it come, would be another adventure.
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Josiphaisus exploded the top of his ration-can open with the force of a fist that had overwhelmingly obliterated a thousand raider skulls. The scarlet-as-beet-juice fluid blasted through the air in front of him like a wave of blood red foam washing on the shore littered with the bodies of his enemies.
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